#SaferAtHome is difficult for many of us. Here are some things to consider for yourself & participants.

FOR THE PROFESSIONAL

The COVID situation has caused hardship for most of us; me included. My children & I are healthy, although we know several people who are not well or have not survived the virus. As I juggle kids, work, life & concerns re: COVID; I am consistently reminded of how grateful I am to be in community with so many great people.

A recent free webinar by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (www.pesi.com) helped to clarify what I've been feeling: grateful, frustrated, overwhelmed, emotional, happy, etc. Anything you are feeling is a normal reaction to a very abnormal situation. Your capacity to care for yourself & others is tested over & over again; some of us are experiencing moral fatigue on top of everything else. Simplistically, moral fatigue is feeling saturated or exhausted by decisions to take care of others in the best way possible without the "right" means (e.g. funds, PPE, etc.) &/or putting other's needs before our own.

We are in what Dr. van der Kolk refers to as "Preconditions for Trauma". What follows is a very quick summary with ideas to counter these preconditions.

1. Lack of Predictability: Mirror your typical routine/schedule as much as possible
2. Immobility (loss of physical sense of agency): Move your body: exercise, dance...
3. Loss of Connection: We need to see & hear people; especially those who fill us up
4. Natural Reactions of Numbing & Spacing Out: Practice being pleasantly present
5. Loss of Sense of Time & Sequences (no sense of future): Look forward to something every day, week & weekend
6. Loss of Safety: Touch & cuddle people, pets & selves
7. Loss of Sense of Purpose/Identity: Do what fills you up & affirms who you are; art, music, etc.

I will do my best to build upon this information each week. If you need additional support for yourself &/or staff, please reach out; I'm happy to help if I can. Or join our Monday 10am CST eGatherings for Self Care. Email me if interested.

FOR PARTICIPANTS

Working with people virtually or in-person during this time is brings unique challenges for all of us. Here are some tips.

1. Transition between tasks, conversations, work-time, life-time
2. Prepare before conversations
3. Use your compassion first, skills second; set time to talk about how people are struggling, as well as time to talk about their successful coping strategies (use time as the reason to move on)
4. Listen to understand
5. Demonstrate understanding
6. Reflect
7. Validate
8. Teach about stress/trauma including current pre-conditions, especially to normalize reactions, concerns, etc.
9. Summarize a plan, even if it an open-ended plan on who will reach out when or why
10. Cheerlead, affirm coping efforts & appreciation for strengths, sharing, etc.

INTEGRATION

Please consider one thing you can do for yourself & one thing for your job in the next week.

How well you do on the job is dependent upon how well you care for yourself.

Your resilience depends on your action; especially now. Do what you can to set an intention & evaluate (with grace) how you’ve done each day.

The current state requires more coping, patience, and practice of approaches. Be kind to yourself along the way.

Keep on Keeping On & Wash Your Hands.

Be well,

Melinda

--

Compassion starts with Self Compassion. Be nice to you.

Melinda Marasch, LCSW

Aspire Training & Consulting

Melinda@Aspire2BU.org

(920) 415-4430 or (303) 378-8140

The power is in the pause.

Be the Change!